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Whenever I’m standing on a subway platform, I play this game: I hover near a person I think is cute and try to slowly make my way over to him so we get in the same car. Like most of the girls in my class, I wanted attention from the boys.

On election night, I thought about all those moments, and I felt overwhelmed at the possibility of taking that on over the next four years.The store had some, but none that matched my skin tone. Once, in my late 20s, my boyfriend and I were stopped by police, and I quickly became frantic about the weed in the car.He put his hand on my knee and reminded me that I was safe with him. Racism isn’t something white people to face every day.Since Trump was elected, I’ve felt paradoxically alienated by white people finding or doubling down on their commitment to change.Somehow their politicization has begun to seem cartoonish, filled with performance and self-congratulation. But it wasn’t only on election night that translating experience felt so fraught.

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